


Bee in a bonnet

by TheLadyOrTheTiger



Series: Awkward dorks in love [6]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Bees, Dancing, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Protectiveness, The Winter Palace (Dragon Age)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-21
Updated: 2015-10-21
Packaged: 2018-04-27 11:02:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5045773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLadyOrTheTiger/pseuds/TheLadyOrTheTiger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the Winter Palace Trevelyan notices an Orlesian noble touching Cullen inappropriately. She can’t just let that slide. It’s time for revenge, and who better to help than Sera?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bee in a bonnet

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to miss-shaley for the encouragement and advice, and just for existing. You're the best.

Being in the Winter Palace reminded Alissa Trevelyan of all the balls and parties she had to attend in Ostwick, all the games the nobles played, and all the petty intrigues that were always brewing at such events. Sometimes she wondered if she hated those things because she was so bad at them or if she was so bad at them because she found them cruel and distasteful. She certainly hoped it was the latter. No matter which was the cause and which the effect, the fact remained – she was ill suited to playing the Game.

Pushing to the back of her mind the memories of clumsy dances, awkward conversations, and the general sense of failure she always experienced during those events in the past, Alissa focused on the present. So much was riding on this. She was there to stop an assassination plot – the stakes were never that high in Ostiwick. Although, her mother might have disagreed on that point.

Snooping around the palace was what the Inquisitor enjoyed most about the night. She was constantly picking up pieces of information, running between her advisors and companions, trying to unravel secrets and decide on the best course of action, constantly in the shadows, away from the judgmental eyes of the other guests.

It was all impossibly frantic and stressful, but Trevelyan was determined to find a brief moment to speak with Cullen about something other than the political situation, and maybe even dance with him. She was never a good dancer, but being in Cullen’s arms was always heavenly. Now she could finally have the perfect dance, with the perfect man – something to replace the memories of all those terrible dances she endured before. Just thinking about it made her smile.

She always found him devastatingly handsome, yet in his evening uniform he just about took her breath away. On her, she feared, the colors looked quite silly, but he made them elegant, regal.

It appeared that she was not the only one who admired him so. Every time she passed near him there was a small cluster of nobles gathered around him. Cullen looked incredibly uncomfortable. To an outsider he might have seemed bored or indifferent, but she knew better than that. His every expression, every smile or tick of nerves was familiar to her. Now she saw how tense he was, how his jaw clenched and unclenched ever so slightly, how his fingers worked subtly, itching to close over a pommel of a sword that wasn't there.

Cullen had no taste for nobles, and as a true Fereldan, hated Orlesians, so the combination of the two had to be near unbearable to him. Despite that, he behaved remarkably well, not trying to hide from them, and even engaging in short conversations. Alissa was sure he would appreciate the momentary break from their onslaught, which she could allow him. With renewed energy, she made her way to him.

“Did you just grab my bottom?” she heard Cullen ask, his voice slightly raised. She saw only his profile, but it was clear as day that he was beyond uncomfortable, his eyes wide and slightly panicked. Trevelyan felt anger welling inside of her.

“I couldn’t help myself,” an Orlesian answered lightly, completely oblivious to his mortification. Anger turned into fury. The Inquisitor clenched her fists, now more than ever missing having her daggers with her. Who was that Orlesian cow who thought it was acceptable to treat people in this manner?

“Are you alright Inquisitor?” Cullen’s voice pierced the haze that has descended on Alissa. He was already leading her away from the nobbles.

“I will be. Once I teach this Oresian bitch some manners. Do you think she will get the message if I break each and every one of her stupid fingers?” Trevelyan hissed.

“Alissa!” Cullen choked out, apparently shocked by her violent outburst.

“She molested you!” Trevelyan said in an angry whisper.

“She… was being Orlesian.” Cullen tried to be diplomatic, but Alissa was having none of that.

“She was being a bitch,” the Inquisitor stated, her voice dripping with malice.

“Same difference,” Cullen muttered, causing Trevelyan to giggle despite her anger.

“I have to do something! I saw the look on your face – this is making you feel terrible. I won’t have that,” she told him urgently.

“It’s…”

“Don’t say it’s fine,” the Inquisitor cut him off. “I know it’s not.”

“It just brings back some… memories.” A look passed over Cullen’s face - something vulnerable, helpless and frightened. “I’m not comfortable with that kind of attention, but I can manage. We can’t cause a scandal.”

“I won’t have you suffering like this,” Trevelyan protested, only able to guess at those memories that haunted him, yet determined to protect him from anything that was going to trigger them.

“Your concern means more than I can say.” Cullen’s voice was soft. He smiled down at her, his fingers barely brushing hers.

Alissa wanted to be able to grab his hand, pull him into an embrace… A thought struck her, cold dread creeping up her spine.

“Do I ever…? When I…” She wasn’t quite sure how to phrase it. “Did I ever made you feel like this? Do I make you uncomfortable with my attentions?”

“Why would you say that?” Cullen furrowed his brows.

“I’m not sure. When I initiate things, when I touch you… I never want you to do things you don’t feel good with, to push you,” Trevelyan tried to explain. It made her nauseous to think that what she thought were moments of joy, were unpleasant or even traumatizing for him.

“Maker, Alissa, no!” Cullen shook his head hard. “I love being with you. I can’t get enough of you. It’s not too much touching, but quite the opposite that’s bothering me.”

“You’re not just saying that?” she questioned, needing to make sure. “You know you can tell me anything. I will understand and change my behavior accordingly. I can’t bear the thought of causing you pain.” Her voice wavered at the last words. She would never forgive herself if she hurt the man she loved.

“I’m always honest with you, so believe me when I say that our… interactions are always a pleasure for me. I know you, I trust you – it’s nothing like what’s happening here.” All through his speech Cullen was looking her in the eye and Alissa couldn’t detect anything but sincerity in his words.

“That’s good then. But if I ever do something you don’t like…”

“I will tell you. Not that I think I could dislike anything that would involve you touching me.” Her Commander smiled fondly at her.

“How about a dance when this is over then?” Trevelyan suggested, not wanting to dwell on the unpleasantness, since Cullen was trying to get past it.

“I’ve never had dancing lessons, you must know this. I’m afraid I’m quite terrible,” Cullen warned, looking down as if he was ashamed of that.

“Well, I’ve had lessons and it didn’t help me at all. I was possibly the worst dancer in the Free Marches, but I still want to do it here with you.”

“In that case, as the worst dancer in Ferelden I’ll be delighted to disgrace the Orlesian floor with the worst dancer in the Free Marches.” Cullen grinned at her.

“I want to kiss you so badly right now,” Alissa whispered.

“I’d like that. To push you against a wall and…” Trevelyan felt her breath hitch as he spoke. “I shouldn’t talk like this here. But once we’re back at Skyhold we’ll make up for that.”

Despite her initial disappointment that he didn't continue, the Inquisitor understood that it was not the time or place for such things.

“I’ll hold you to that promise,” she declared solemnly.

“I’m counting on it. Now let’s get back to the task at hand.”

“I know a task I’d like to have at my hand,” Alissa told him with a saucy smile, delighting in his blush.

“I’ll be going now before I embarrass myself,” Cullen mumbled.

The Inquisitor watched him walk away with a smirk on her face, thinking about all the things they’d be able to do back in Skyhold. The smirk disappeared when she saw the ring of ‘admirers’ closing around her lover again. He was stiff and uncomfortable once more. And that dreadful slattern with the grabby hands was moving closer to him. This was unacceptable. But what could Alissa do? Cullen was right. She couldn’t say anything to the Orlesian woman. Her relationship with the Commander of her armies was still a secret. She also couldn’t alienate potential allies by making a scene and pulling the hair of some idiot noble who touched her man inappropriately, no matter how much she would wish to do just that.

She personally couldn’t do anything, but she wasn't alone. There was definitely one person who could help her. She just had to know the name of the Orlesian bitch and then a plan could be set into motion.

After getting the information she needed from Josephine, Trevelyan went up to Sera.

“How’s it going, your Inquisitorialness?” the elf asked.

“The only thing I like about this place are the tiny cakes,” Alissa answered honestly.

“Same here.”

“Sera…” Trevelyan wasn’t sure how to smoothly go about asking for a favor. “I know we don’t always get along. I often don’t agree with your methods…”

“Yeah, you can say that again,” Sera cut in. “Herald of Andraste? More like herald of boring.” The archer laughed at her own joke. “You wouldn’t even let me put bees in the lady something-or-other’s bonnet. It was a perfect opportunity – bee in a bonnet. Why would people say that if not for me to do it?”

Using the last bit of her restraint, the Inquisitor stopped herself from rolling her eyes.

“I want to make it up to you,” Trevelyan said. “There’s something you can do for me. Something _only you_ can do. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.”

“Yeah? Go on.” Sera lifted one brow skeptically.

“There’s a lady who needs to be taught a lesson. A real uppity bitch.” Alissa was happy to see how Sera sniggered at her language. “I’m giving you free reign. Do what you will. There’s only one condition – I want her hands to be incapacitated in some way. The rest is up to you.”

Sera looked positively gleeful, rubbing her hands together, an evil smirk on her face.

“What’s she done to you?”

“Does it really matter?” Alissa deflected, hoping she wouldn’t have to make up some lie to feed to her potential accomplice.

“Be like this.” The elf stuck out her tongue, eliciting a shocked gasp from a passing noble. “I’m bored, so yeah, sure, I’ll help you. In exchange for eternal gratitude and the new key to Viv’s room.”

“She changed the lock again?” Trevelyan knew that the archer and mage had an interesting relationship, but she thought things have settled down between them.

“Uh-huh. After the fish incident,” Sera explained.

“The fish…? No. I’m not even going to ask what that was.” The Inquisitor has already learned that some things were better left alone, especially if they concerned Sera. “I was hoping you were going to do it just for the fun of it.”

“Sure, sure. Or I could have fun and get something more out of this. This one’s done nothing to me, but it’s important to you. I can just not do it, but you need my help. Leverage, yeah?” Sera grinned deviously.

“I hope Vivienne never finds out.” Alissa sighed. “You’ve got yourself a deal. But I’m not shaking on it if you’re going to spit in your palm again.”

“No fun.” Sera shook her head.

“Hey there, I think I’m slightly more fun now,” the Inquisitor protested half-heartedly.

Sera lifted up her hand, her thumb and index finger barely separated, to indicated how slightly more fun Alissa was.

“So who’s the bitch in need of a lesson?” the elf asked.

“Lady Badure.”

“On it.” Sera mock-saluted and strode off.

* * *

 

The day was saved, the assassination plot against the empress thwarted, and the Inquisition has gained the help it needed. Alissa should probably be happy, but instead she was just tired. Dealing with court intrigues was a huge exhausting pain.

Taking refuge on the most remote balcony she could find, she leaned over the railing, looking at the stars twinkling on the dark sky. She couldn’t analyze the night's events again or she was going to go mad. She just had to believe that she did the right thing.

“How are you feeling?” Cullen’s warm, concerned voice startled her slightly.

“I’m… as well as can be expected under such circumstances, I suppose,” she told him as he leaned next to her on the railing.

“You look like you don’t want to talk about it anymore,” Cullen offered softly.

Trevelyan had to smile at that. He knew her so well, could read her like an open book.

“No, not particularly. Let’s speak of something else,” she told him.

“Very well. Let’s talk about lady Badure.”

The Inquisitor was momentarily confused. In all of the excitement and danger she almost forgot about her. Now she felt a pinprick of fear. What did Sera do to her? And how would Cullen react?

“Oh? What about her?” Trevelyan asked coyly.

“She caused quite the little scandal. She run from the powder room pursued by a determined bee which apparently was very eager to get under her hat. It completely ignored everyone else, focusing just on her. She tried to swat at it, but it appeared that her gloves were glued together. She attempted to take them off, but they seemed to be stuck on her hands. In her fright she bumped into a duchess, making her spill wine all over a new dress. Suffice to say that she made a spectacle of herself. Those in the know expect she will have to endure being snubbed for the next few weeks, if not months. That dress, you see, was made of a one of a kind material, and is now forever ruined. Also, no one was able to do anything about the sticky substance on lady Badure’s hands. I’ve heard people familiar with potions and alchemy say that it might lose its properties in several days, at best. She will not be touching anything _or anyone_ for some time,” Cullen recounted, his tone even, not betraying his emotions.

“Indeed? How dreadful for her!” Alissa exclaimed with a smirk, playing dumb.

“How could that have happened to her, I wonder?” Cullen mussed.

“The culprit hasn’t been apprehended?”

“He _or she_ is still at large.” Cullen carefully accentuated his words.

“Everyone should probably be on guard, but somehow I feel safe,” Trevelyan told him, wondering how long they could pretend not to know what really happened.

“The part about the bee sounds familiar,” Cullen pressed on.

“You’re right. Sera is very fond of bees. But why would she do such a thing? What does she gain from such an action?”

“Maybe the gratitude of lady Badure’s enemy? Someone who wanted to teach her a lesson, take her revenge on the lady?”

“Her? Why are you so certain it would be a woman?” Alissa pretended to be very surprised.

“Just a guess. You wouldn’t know anything about the whole situation?” Cullen asked. His lips might have twitched. In that light Trevelyan couldn’t be sure.

“I wasn’t even there! The Inquisitor would not get involved in such a thing,” she declared firmly.

“The Inquisitor maybe, but what about a woman in love?” A small fond smile played at the corners of his mouth when he said that.

“Women in love are unpredictable. A woman in love could very well do something like this.” It was time to drop the ruse, Alissa decided. She had to find out what Cullen truly thought about the whole thing. “I know I was petty, and this didn’t change what happened. She probably didn’t even connect the two events. I just couldn’t let her go on her merry way after what she did. Are you mad at me?”

Cullen tried to look stern, but couldn’t do it. His eyes twinkled with amusement.

“It was… oddly romantic,” he finally said.

“It was?” Trevelyan was relieved.

“My lover wanted to avenge my honor. I think that’s very romantic, even if the method was a bit unconventional,” Cullen told her with a rueful smile. “She certainly wasn’t touching me anymore, for which I was thankful.”

“That was the idea. I’m glad it worked out.”

They stared out into the night for a few moments. There were words they could have said, but there was no need for conversation. They were contented to just be near each other.

“Would you care for a dance?” Cullen finally offered.

“Oh yes, very much.”

Trevelyan turned to see Cullen bowing before her, one hand behind his back, the other extended to her. Grinning like a fool, she placed her hand in his, and let him pull her to his chest, a strong arm going around her waist. Alissa placed her hand on Cullen’s shoulder, feeling his muscles under the rich fabric of his coat.

“I wasn’t joking when I said I was terrible at this,” her Commander warned as they began to move to the music.

“I really don’t mind, since I’m probably worse. Don’t let me step on your toes. I’ve been known to do that.” Alissa bit her lip sheepishly.

“Maybe if we do it slowly and carefully we’ll be alright,” Cullen suggested.

They weren’t so much dancing as stepping from one foot to the other, swaying slightly.

“This must be a huge letdown for you after all those balls in Ostwick. Men there had to know their way around a dancefloor.” Cullen sounded disappointed in himself.

“This is perfect. I was always terrified of fumbling a complicated dance step, which by the way happened almost always. I can’t fail at this. Also – I love you. This makes it the greatest dance in my entire life,” Trevelyan assured him.

“I still want to make some real effort. What would you say if I tried to spin you?”

“It’s certainly worth a try,” Trevelyan told him, attempting to sound brave.

“I apologize in advance,” Cullen mumbled, letting go of her waist, lifting their joined hands up and gently initiating the movement. Alissa spun in place cautiously and in a moment was back in Cullen’s arms.

“That was delightful.” She beamed at him.

“I should not congratulate myself on performing something so simple, but I’m kind of proud.” Cullen chuckled.

“I don’t think it’s that simple. We did well.” She grinned at him.

“I might be tempting my luck but maybe we could try a dip?” he suggested.

“How very daring.” Alissa giggled. “Let’s do it.”

Cullen’s arm around Trevelyan’s waist tightened and he gently tilted her. Trusting him, she leaned back, her head hanging low. In one fluid motion he brought her back. His movement proved to be more forceful than either of them anticipated and Alissa was suddenly flush against Cullen’s chest.

She wanted to compliment him, but before she could, he was closing the sparse gap between them and kissing her tenderly. Trevelyan put both of her hands on his arms as she gave herself over to the sensation of his mouth moving over hers.

After they parted, Alissa put her head on Cullen’s chest, barely moving to the music. It was her favorite place to be – in Cullen’s arms, feeling warm, safe and so very loved.

“Are you satisfied with the dance?” Cullen murmured.

“Completely. It was perfect. No toes were crushed, no one fell down, no one tore their dress.” Trevelyan laughed. “That did happen to me once, you know. I lost the rhythm, my partner stepped on the hem of my dress and it tore with the most terrible sound.” Cullen made sympathetic noises. “My mother forced me to wear those hideous monstrosities – giant billowing things with at least three underskirts. And there were always bows, so many bows. Everywhere – all over the skirt, on the bodice, on my puffy sleeves. I hated them with a passion.”

“I can’t imagine you in something like this.” Cullen chuckled.

“Please don’t even try. I looked like an overstuffed wedding cake.”

“I happen to be very fond of cakes, wedding or otherwise. They’re quite delicious.” She could hear the lewd grin in his voice and feel the heat rise in her cheeks.

“In that case imagine away,” she said, looking up at him through her lashes with a shy smile.

“If we weren’t in that Maker-forsaken palace, the things I’d do to you,” Cullen growled.

Alissa couldn’t help gasping at his words.

“Once we’re back…” she told him. “But now let’s just dance," she changed the subject, not wanting to tease herself or her lover with the things that couldn't happen for days.

For some time they remained quiet, pressed together.

“It may be very shallow, but when I heard that we were going to a ball, I was kind of hoping that I was going to get a dress,” Alissa broke the silence. “Something simple and beautiful, something I would choose. I know those uniforms are professional and elegant and make us look unified, but I still can’t help being disappointed, thinking about the dress that could have been.” She sighed wistfully.

“I’d like to see you in a dress. Maybe something with a low neckline,” Cullen murmured in a low tone, making her shiver, thwarting all her efforts to keep the conversation innocent.

“I’ll remember that if we ever get another opportunity like this.” She couldn’t suppress the smile that appeared on her face at the thought of the way Cullen would look at her in a dress that would truly accentuate her figure.

“Once you save the world I’m sure you’ll be invited to plenty of parties. And who’s going to tell the woman they owe their lives to what she can and can’t wear?”

“Good point. Now I really have to buckle down and defeat Corypheus. That was just the motivation I needed.” Trevelyan chuckled, and Cullen joined in.

“We probably should get back inside before someone comes looking for us.” Cullen sounded like it was the last thing he wanted to do, but still he pulled away from Alissa.

“You’re probably right. But now I’m your bodyguard – I go where you go and keep people from molesting you.”

“Not that I don’t appreciate the thought, but won’t that look suspicious? Us being together all the time?”

This secrecy was damn inconvenient, yet they both agreed that it was necessary. No one should have any reason to question the Inquisitors decisions, insinuating that she was being influenced by her feelings for the Commander of her armies. They also didn’t wish to look unprofessional and have people gossiping about their private affairs.

“Then we always get someone to accompany us. That way we will not look like a couple,” Trevelyan decided.

“You’re really committed to this bodyguard plan.” Cullen smirked at her.

“I won’t have anyone making you uncomfortable if I can help it,” Alissa said fiercely. Whatever she could save him from, be it demons or nobles, she would.

“I’m very grateful for that.” Cullen bent down and gallantly kissed her hand, making her heart swell. “After you, my lady-protector.” He gestured to the balcony doors. With one more smile exchanged between them, they went into the ballroom.

For the rest of the night no one dared to touch Cullen.

* * *

 

After they got back to Skyhold, Alissa, with no small difficulty, managed to obtain the key to Vivienne’s room. The next day after it was delivered to Sera, Trevelyan received a small scrawled note.

 _“shame you couldn’t see it,”_ it red. _“wasn’t a bonnet but a hat’s a hat. good doing biznes with you, herald of less boring.”_

At the bottom of the page was a drawing of a woman with ample breasts, disproportionately large hat and eyes bulging in what was probably meant to be fear, her stick hands clasped in front of her. Over her hovered a smirking bee.

**Author's Note:**

> When I was playing, I got really angry at the nobles for treating Cullen the way they did, but it was mostly proprietary, 'don't touch my man' sort of thing. I didn't take Cole with me to the Winter Palace, since Alissa is also a double wielding rogue, but then I read what he said about Cullen (Cullen is afraid. They're hunting him, following fear. He shouldn't be here) and my heart all but broke. He's just so strong, doing his duty so calmly, while inside he's panicked, remembering the demons in Kinloch Hold. I decided to explore that, not with full on angst, since it's bad for me, but more with humor and protectiveness from Alissa. I hope it works.
> 
> I was writing this while on vacation, and downstairs in the hotel there was a spanish music concert. I tried to think about some classical music, but it didn't help much. I had flashes of Cullen and Alissa very ineptly trying to dace the flamenco. 
> 
> Thank you for reading. Comments and kudos would mean a lot to me. [my tumblr, if you're interested](%E2%80%9Dthe-lady-or-the-tiger.tumblr.com/%E2%80%9D)


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